For many, those with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and those without, Valentine's Day is dreaded day in February. It can seem that everywhere you turn, you are reminded that you are supposed to be in a relationship, maybe even that somehow you are not complete without a Valentine.

For those with BPD, the pressure to have the perfect Valentine's Day, not just a Valentine, can have even more importance than the special person. Is it really possible to have "the perfect day"? Are you just setting yourself up for disappointment?

Maybe the multitudes of pink hearts that abound this time of year conjure up all kinds of unpleasant feelings. For many the pressure can feel too much. If you are one of these people, it is important to plan for the day. Anticipate the stress and build a day that you get to feel good about. If you think that it is going to be a hard or disappointing day, pull out that list of coping skills, and decide what you are going to do. The BPD message board is also collecting coping skill ideas, let others know how you cope.

But most of all, remember that it is just a day. The day will pass and the 15th will come.