Are people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) violent? The short answer is "no," most people with BPD are not violent. There is some research, however, that indicates that people who have been charged with violent crimes are more likely to be diagnosed with BPD than people who have not been charged with crimes.
Unfortunately, many people misinterpret this finding to argue that people with BPD are at a high risk of committing serious violent acts. This is just not the case, most people with BPD do not engage in serious violence, and many do not report any aggressive behavior. However, if you have BPD and are prone to physical aggression, or if you have a loved one with BPD who you have seen be aggressive, getting help early is your best bet.
What’s violence? It is more than physical assault.
If you’ve been on the receiving end of having your life ruined by false accusations and defamation that have gotten you investigated by the government, been falsely arrested, had your children taken away from you, and been forced to bankruptcy by the legal fees dealing with the lies of the Borderline trying to ruin your life, you know that physical violence might have been preferable.
The idea of “Borderline violence” needs to be expanded to include the distortion campaign, malicious legal attacks, attacks on your job, defamation, and other tactics they pull. All of these can be far more damaging that merely being pushed or punched.
Actually your comment is blatantly incorrect. It is insulting to any victim of violence. There is a HUGE difference between malicious non violent attacks and actual physical aggression.
I’m afraid that you are thinking of getting slapped as being violence. But in the case of a person who impulsively loses control and become violent, the consequences can mean permanent physical damage and even death. Having your life “ruined” is still far better than having your life taken. Your concept of violence is an insult to intelligence and to those who are violently abused, and I think that your post should be removed from this page altogether.
Experience with a woman with BPD; yeilds the following comments.
When women are violent courts and the police frequently look the other way. Especially in small towns.
The police will tell you to keep your left arm up to block her blows. Judge Dee Dyer (Outagamie County Wisconsin) will say that women simply do not beat up their children.
Suppression of violence just because this is a disease that frequently afflicts women is really no excuse.
This is a very serious disease and when you say that violence is not a frequent product of it you are intentionaly mistaken.
Look at the prison statistics, look at the hospital stats. these people frequently inflict harm and violence on themselves and others.
Wake up— Alan
MMM These people hey? These evil Borderlines hey? how ignorant is that. Do you know what it feels like to read some of the comments that people don’t have Bpd make when you happen to be cursed with this diagnosis that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. So I guess you know by now I have it and it aint no party I can tell you. It’s a living hell! Would you like to have a problem that makes you want to hurt those you love? and then hate yourself more than you or anyone could because of this? Please don’t remain ignorant. I guess the old saying goes ” you can’t know how someone feels until you walk in thier moccasins” That’s about it in a nutshell. I hope and pray someone you love doesn’t end up with Bpd in the family line.
Oh and one more thing
Please forgive us
Michelle
Can you forgive the transgressor from your childhood?
I have a question and I would like your help.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with BPD. She can be very nice and then do the most amazing things. For example, she is my best friend’s sister in law, she writes her email saying how much she loves her, how lucky his brother is to have her, etc and then, on her back, tells everyone that she is a gold digger, that she is the worst thing that could have ever happened to his brother. She keeps saying really mean things about her. Or she always flirts with her friend’s husbands, or the boyfriends of a friend’s friend, etc.
I still think this is part of her BPD but some people have told me that BPDs do not do this kind of things, that this she does is because she is a bad person (a bad person that also has BPD). I really want to know, I keep defending her but I am kind of alone in the fight.
ANy thoughts?
I had a love child with BPD. She abused to the point of being disabled for life. My life has been ruined by standing up for the child. Ive had custody for 5 years. Still it coninues. Typical of a BPD is focus on themselves and not there victims. Does borderline ever hand you a diagnosis when they meet you. Nope they hope to use you and destroy you all in the name of their needs. Look Michelles comments..oh poor me im in hell. thats tough keep it to yurself and if you cant remove your self from society you complain like a child molester and have the same value in society. Lock em up throw away the key at least with sex offenders there is some hope of contolling their actions. BPDs theres no chance.
Hi,
I didn’t like the comment before. I’ll explain why. BPD don’t want at all to ‘use’ other people. In fact, in a perfectly good environment, you won’t see their illness. The problem is, when smtg hurts the BPD, it will hurt 10 000 000 000 X more than what normal people experiment. I know. I’m diagnosed with that and I’m only 21 years old. You can see that if smtg really bad happened to a BPD, smtg that «normal» people couldn’t stand, they will be the only one to stand it. They are so used to be sad, that they know they can face really bad things that normal people can’t do.
But there is still that if I was normal, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with a borderline. It is hell for the BPD and for the lover, the normal one. It’s true that BPD are scared to death to be left. But it is like this. And I think that except in the case that you are with someone really intelligent that have a light BDP problem (some diagnostics are worst that others) and that the person do all that she can to participate in a good therapy, it’s really hard to be close to this person. I hope I’ll be ‘normal’ one day, because I want to be in «your» world so much… And yes, my ex boyfriend went to police because I manipulate everything and my actual boyfriend is becoming violent with me because I make him crazy… And that’s really hard. I just want to finich by telling to all BPD people that I still beleive we can stop suffering like this one day. And don’t think suicide is the solution, it’s only a problem.
« An emotion never kills someone »…
I have b.p.d. And tho i suffer greatly i have a lot of people who find me dificult BUT say when i am loving, im the kindest person they know, i have 6 god daughters who worship the ground i walk on, they have benifited frm me being the slightly crazy but kind playfull and love, me, us b.p.d.ers emotions are so mega intense and when its a negative emotion we must learn to control or diminish the “episode” if u will, but when the emotion is a good one, we shine bright, and at 40yrs old, it does diminish slightly, i am a dificult man, but am loved by so many, so i cant be that bad, hang in there other b.p.d. Sufferers, itsa roller coaster ride 4 sure but the strength we CAN HAVE is intense to,
I’ve recently ended a relationship with my BPD fiance. I didn’t realise at the time that he was BP but now I clearly see it. He could be violent when raging, and has hit people and things in the past. I do understand now that in those moments, he’s completely out of control and doesn’t realise what he’s doing. BP people have a terrible world. Our relationship could never have worked because he’s in denial of his condition. I hurt and feel for my ex-fiance a lot because it must be horrible to be him. What hurts most is that he doesn’t have to be like this. He’s had a series of destructive relationships, some of which have ended with court battles, and no one has cared enough to look at the cause. Now that I know, I’m out of the relationship and of course powerless to do anything. He however has the key – he can face up to reality and do something about it before it’s too late.
If you have ever tried to protect a child from a mother with this condition you would not make such comments. The public needs more education on this condition and especially the borderline campaign. The violence these children witness and eventually become victims of are very difficult and costly to prove. The mental health status of the BPD sufferer is like a virus that extends to all those that suffer the misfortune of being able to walk away because of the child
my daughter was diagnoosed with BPD when she was 17. Her life has bee a downward spiral of broken relationships, extreme behaviour and intense hatred. Self violence come first with her.
She has become increasingly worse, but will not accept that she has a problem. She is destroying her family and her son.
Maria