Stigma and Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Tuesday October 27, 2009
I was reading an article today on teen stereotypes and teen behavior. The main research finding in this article was that if parents believe that their teen is likely to conform to negative behaviors (e.g., teen drinking) then then their teen actually DOES engage in more negative behavior.
What does this have to do with BPD? Well, it got me thinking that perhaps the same kind of self-fulfilling prophecy could happen with BPD. There is so much stigma attached to BPD, and many people expect those with BPD to "behave badly." Is it possible that knowing what others expect of you actually makes you conform to this expectation by acting out? What do you think?
I feel like this is a common issue amongst many disorders/diseases both mental and physical, I think that whilst it is important to gather information and become knowledgable about a condition that you’re suffering, doing so can often cause people to “conform” to symptoms that may not have previously been present. I’m not saying that people would necessarily “put-on” symptoms but subconciously knowing that they are common amongst people who suffer the same/similar condition may cause the symptoms to arise.
I am convinced that my x-wife suffers from bpd (or should I say I suffer from her bpd behaviors). We have 2 children, 10 and 12. She works very hard to control my ability to participate in their lives as fully as possible given the terms of our divorce agreement. Our relationship and marriage was very much a walk on eggshells for me. She demonstrated all of the classic signs of the disorder without either of us knowing that is what it was.
It wasn’t until after the divorce that her behaviors intensified. I finally realized, after talking with friend about my experiences, that it was bpd. I have read quite a bit about the disorder and she fits almost every descriptor.
I doubt that most people with the disorder even realize they have it. From my experience, this disorder makes it difficult to convince the sufferer that they indeed are suffering. I find the bpd in my life has the attitude that it is everyone else (specifically me) that is in the wrong. I am not sure that if someone is resistant to admitting they are suffering they would use the symptoms as an excuse to continue to act the way they do.
My question is, “How do you get someone with bpd to face the problems their behaviors create if they are convinced the problems belong to those around them?”