I feel compelled to write a post that is a bit more personal than usual.
I have been About.com's Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder for almost three years. I really love writing for this website-- it's a nice way to be able to share my expertise and knowledge with people who need it. I am often thanked by readers, but I have to tell you that I feel very grateful for the opportunity to do this work and probably get more from it than anyone gets from anything I've written.
There is one thing, though, that bothers me, and that I have to say something about.
Many times each week I receive reader comments, forum posts, and personal emails that are incredibly hateful toward people with BPD. I do understand that many people have been hurt by individuals with BPD, and that usually these comments are written from a place of pain and anger. But, I am often shocked by the level of vitriol in these comments.
People with BPD deserve your compassion. I am not saying that people with BPD do not behave in ways that are hurtful, nor that they should not have to accept responsibility for these actions (and, by the way, you may not realize it, but they usually do, after the fact, and with a deep sense of shame, guilt, and remorse).
But regardless of this, before you judge someone with this disorder, please take a step back and think about what it would be like to have this disorder. Realize that the great majority of these individuals were children who had terrible things happen to them. The minority that did not have terrible things happen to them in childhood probably have a strong biological predisposition for BPD through no fault of their own or anyone else. Think about whether you would make the same judgments about someone who had, say, schizophrenia, or social anxiety, or posttraumatic stress disorder.
In short, have compassion. Be grateful that you don't have to live with BPD. And do something to help, rather than spewing out hate. It's not helping you or anyone else.