In a given day, there are numerous things that a person must protect herself from or defend against: damaging sun, viruses, insults, injury ... the list goes on. Many of the protections and defenses used on a regular basis are not noticed or questioned. They also may differ from person to person: Jane will only ride her bicycle when wearing her helmet, while Bob never rides with one.
Emotional responses, especially anger, can also serve as both as a means of protection and defense.
Assessing and Responding to Dangers
There are people whose sense of touch is altered, through injury or medical condition, so that they are unable to feel sensations of heat. Someone who cannot feel heat is numb to the feeling of a fire or hot object. However, the sensation that comes from touching something hot is a protection from the physical damage that can result from a burn. These individuals must take great care and always be on the lookout for potentially dangerous situations.
The BP’s ability to assess and respond to potential danger in interpersonal relationships is similarly damaged. As a result, the BP is hyperaware of, or always on the lookout for, physical and emotional threats to herself.
Anger As a Protection
For the BP, anger may be a protection from threats that she has not yet recognized. Life is like a minefield, a constant source of hazards. It can be that she uses anger as a protection for all interactions until she is able to determine that no threat exists: a “shoots first, ask questions later” approach. The anger is a protection from being vulnerable to additional pain from difficult feelings.
Anger As a Defense
Anger can also be an active response to a threat. A common issue for those with BPD is a fear of abandonment and significant difficulty relating to others. It can feel as if there are constant attacks that must be defended against. The anger can be an attempt to defend oneself: an attempt to respond to the attacks, to fight back and make the hurt go away. The anger response may be meant to keep others from hurting the BP more: “You can’t hurt me, if I hurt you first”.
