This is not meant to be an example of all cases of Borderline Personality Disorder, but an example of a person who has BPD.
Childhood
Rhonda (not her real name) was the last of three children born in the Johnson family. They lived a comfortable middle class life.
Rhonda’s father, Steve, was happy with 2 children, but her mother, Mary, had loved babies and actively sought to have a third child. Without Steve’s knowledge and against his wishes, Mary conceived for a third time.
Unfortunately, Rhonda learned of this when she was a young child. Mary used to tell Rhonda how much she had wanted her by relating the trickery used to get pregnant. Steve accepted Rhonda, but she always knew that he had not wanted another child, and felt unwanted.
Rhonda spent much of her childhood unconsciously seeking validation from her father for her birth. She developed interests that her father shared. She sought to differentiate herself from her siblings and forge a special relationship with him.
Sexual Abuse
Although Rhonda would not articulate her victimization, she was sexually abused by her father. She would recount this trauma to others only veiled in the symbolism of dreams. The abuse was traumatic, as was the lack of protection provided by her mother and older siblings.
Friendships
As Rhonda grew into adolescence, it seemed that she had hard time maintaining friendships.
She would easily make a friend, only to have the relationship combust and disintegrate into nothing. The relationships were intense and consuming. Before the demise of the friendship, Rhonda could not say enough positive about the person, then they were nothing and the relationship was remembered as always being disappointing and lacking.
Relationships
Rhonda had numerous intimate relationships. She was unclear of her sexuality, and experimented by having relationships with both men and women – labeling her sexuality based on her current relationship at the time.
Her intimate relationships, like her friendships, were intense from the start, but then combusted often in a hateful exchange. Typically leaving her devastated and angry.
Rhonda feared the breakup of her relationships almost from the start. She seemed to be unable to believe that being herself could ever be enough. Since the beginning she set about trying to be everything the other person wanted.
Rhonda’s interests and views depended on the people around her. She would adopt their interests, often seeming to be even more fervent in her interest. She adopted the interests and viewpoints of others so readily that there was little evidence of her persona prior to the relationship.
Each relationship was in a vacuum. Rhonda did not carry friendships with her. In fact it was clear that her old friends had either dropped her suddenly (and unfairly) or remained intense personal confidants that supported her completely and never met anybody else.
Stealing
She often stole items from friends, sometimes giving them away, sometimes just trying to be like them, other times just because she could not have it herself. Her stealing was impulsive. Her victims often were the people who cared about her. She was able to be present when someone discovered what was missing and appear just as surprised as they were.
Social Groups
Rhonda also worked to keep her fiends from knowing each other, much less liking one another. She feared that her friends would leave her out. She also feared that some of her inconsistencies about who she was, what she liked, what she said would come out if people trusted one another. She needed her friends to go through her, and worked relationships to promote nothing less.
Her friends aligned themselves with her and tended to think negatively of one another.
Jobs
Just like people, Rhonda seemed to fly through jobs.
Rhonda did not know what she wanted to do with her life. She felt compelled to define herself with a career, but had no idea what she wanted that career to be.
When Rhonda did get a job, she would conflict with her supervisors and peers. Sometimes she would quit – disillusionment with the job, anger at others, depression would be the cause. Other times she was fired – not coming to work, stealing, sometimes she did not state the reason.
Substance Use
Rhonda began drinking in her teens. Her friends did it, and she was not one to refuse to join in. As she matured and the chaos in her life grew, she drank more. Sometimes it was to fit in, sometimes it was to dull the feelings and fears that refused to go away. As she drank she would dislike herself less, but her anger at those around her would grow.
