5 Keys to Living With Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD can affect many aspects of your life, but there's hope

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Living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) poses some challenges. Intense emotional pain and feelings of emptiness, desperation, anger, hopelessness, and loneliness are common. These symptoms can affect every part of your life. Despite the challenges, many people with BPD learn how to cope with the symptoms so they can live fulfilling lives.

At a Glance

Borderline personality disorder can affect many areas of your life, including relationships, work, and personal safety. You can make living with these symptoms more manageable by:

  • Seeking help from an experienced mental health professional
  • Having a safety plan in place
  • Getting support from loved ones
  • Caring for your physical and mental health
  • Learning more about your condition

Let's explore some of the ways that you can cope, live, and thrive with BPD.

Understanding the Symptoms of BPD

Some of the key symptoms of borderline personality that may affect how you function in different areas of your life include:

Living With BPD Symptoms

People with BPD do not have to resign themselves to a life of emotional pain. There are a number of things you can do to help you cope with the symptoms.

Get Help

BPD is a very serious disorder. The intense experiences associated with BPD are not something that anyone should face alone. Fortunately, there are several effective treatments for BPD.

Treatments for BPD typically involve psychotherapy. Types of therapy that may be used include dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), mentalization-based treatment (MBT), and group therapy.

Medications may be prescribed to help treat specific symptoms of borderline personality disorder, such as mood swings and depression. BPD medications that may be prescribed are antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics.

Finding a mental health professional you feel comfortable with and discussing your symptoms and treatment options is one of the most important steps you can take for your health.

Get Help Now

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Have a Safety Plan

BPD causes very painful emotions and, as a result, it is not uncommon for mental health emergencies (for example, active suicidality) to arise. For this reason, it is critical for you to have a safety plan in place before a crisis happens.

If you are in danger of harming yourself or others, what will you do? Can you call 911? Is there a hospital nearby with an emergency room that you can go to? If you have a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, or social worker, discuss this plan with them. 

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

Get Support

Having the support of your family, friends, or partner can be a big help. But, not everyone has someone to turn to when things get difficult. You may need to find ways to connect with others and to build a support network for yourself.

BPD is not an uncommon disorder; it occurs in about 1.4% of the population. That means that there are roughly 4 million people with BPD in the U.S. alone. Many of those people are looking for support, just like you.

Take Care of Yourself

It is important that people with BPD take good care of themselves. Healthy self-care can help reduce emotional pain, increase positive emotions, and reduce the emotional ups and downs you may experience.

Some of the most basic things like eating nutritious and regular meals, practicing good sleep hygiene, and getting regular exercise will help tremendously. Also, try to take time for relaxation and stress-reduction and schedule enjoyable activities into your daily life.

Learn More

When it comes to your mental health, knowledge is power. Educate yourself about the symptoms, causes, and treatments of BPD. Learn about ways to manage your symptoms. Share what you have learned with the people in your life who are affected by it.

Recognizing the Impact of BPD on Your Life

Part of living with borderline personality disorder is recognizing some of the ways that symptoms of the condition can impact your life. It can take a toll on your relationships and work, but symptoms can also physical health and safety. Being aware of these effects can help you better recognize the importance of treatment, support, and self-care.

Your Relationships and BPD

BPD can have a major impact on your relationships. In fact, having difficulties in relationships is one of the primary symptoms of BPD. People with BPD can have many arguments and conflicts with loved ones or a lot of relationships that repeatedly break up.

The way that you feel about your family, friends, or partner can change dramatically from day-to-day or hour-to-hour. These patterns can be very difficult both for the person with BPD and those who care about them.

Your Work and BPD

Work, school, or other productive pursuits can give us a sense of purpose in life. Unfortunately, BPD can interfere with your success at work or school.

Since BPD has such an impact on relationships, people with BPD may find themselves in trouble with co-workers, bosses, teachers, or other authority figures. The intense emotional changes may also impact work or school; you may have to be absent more often due to emotional concerns or hospitalization.

Some of the symptoms of BPD like dissociation can also interfere with concentration, which may make completing tasks very difficult.

Your Physical Health and BPD

Unfortunately, BPD can also have a major impact on your physical health. BPD is associated with a variety of conditions, including:

  • Chronic pain disorders such as fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome
  • Arthritis
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease

BPD is also associated with less-than-healthy lifestyle choices such as smoking, alcohol use, and lack of regular exercise.

BPD and the Law

Some of the behaviors associated with BPD can lead to legal problems as well. The anger associated with it can lead to aggression (e.g., assaulting others, throwing objects, or acting out against others' personal property).

Impulsive behaviors, such as driving recklessly, misusing substances, shoplifting, or engaging in other illegal acts, can also lead to trouble.

Learn Your BPD Triggers

It can also be easier to live with borderline personality disorder if you learn to recognize and manage your triggers. BPD triggers are situations that set off symptoms. Common triggers for people with BPD include:

Therapy is an essential part of learning how to manage these triggers. While you cannot control every single situation that might trigger your BPD symptoms, you can work on developing coping skills that will help you manage them more effectively.

Self-help strategies can also be beneficial. For example, you might try meditation apps to help you practice mindfulness techniques to build greater self-awareness and self-regulation skills. Finding ways to distract yourself when you're struggling with intense emotions can also be helpful.

Keep in Mind

It is important to remember that while the symptoms of borderline personality disorder can have serious effects on your life, the condition is highly treatable. Seeking help, adhering to your treatment plan, and getting support from your loved ones can make living with BPD much easier. Through therapy, you can work on new coping skills, such as changing negative thought patterns, improving interpersonal relationships, and better tolerating distress.

12 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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By Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD
 Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University.