One of the simplest healthy coping skills that you can use is coping with music. Many of us practice this everyday without even noticing that music helps us cope.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) experience intense emotions, urges to engage in dangerous behaviors, dissociation, and a host of others symptoms. In order to maintain daily functioning, you need to have lots of coping skills at the ready in case these symptoms are triggered.
Using music to cope is quick, relatively easy, and inexpensive. However, there are a few ground rules to follow to ensure that this strategy doesn't backfire.
Can Music Really Help?
This coping strategy is relatively simple: When you are feeling intense distress or urges, turn on some music that conveys the emotion that is the opposite of the one you are feeling.
Music can help you in two ways. First, for some people, music is absorbing enough that listening to it can distract you from whatever else may be going on. Second, music can actually help to change your emotional state -- there is good evidence that listening to music that conveys an emotional tone can help you change your mood.
Coping with Music - When and Where
One of the nice features of this strategy is that it can be used in lots of circumstances. You can listen to music in the privacy of your own home, or in the car, or if you are in a public place you can put on headphones.
The key is to have a playlist ready. You don't need fancy equipment - a CD player, mp3 player, or even a computer (like internet radio stations) will do. You just need to have music on hand to use when you need it.
Mood Incongruent Music -- Don't Get Pulled In
The most important rule about using this strategy is that if you are upset you need to select mood incongruent music. We've all been sad or lonely and turned on music that matches that mood. But usually this strategy just gets us more pulled into the feeling we were having.
Choosing mood incongruent music means picking music that is the direct opposite of what you are feeling. So, if you are feeling anxious, pick something soothing and relaxing. If you are feeling sad, pick joyful music. If you're angry, pick whimsical or calming music. Don't get pulled into your favorite sad, or angry, or plaintive song!
Sources:
Linehan, MM. "Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder." New York: Guilford Press, 1993.
Västfjäll D. "Emotion Induction Through Music: A Review of the Musical Mood Induction Procedure." Musicae Scientiae, 173-211, 2001.
