Many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are not correctly diagnosed for years or even decades after they first start experiencing symptoms. When were you first diagnosed with BPD, and what symptoms led to your diagnosis?
No one told me!
- I was diagnosed with BPD about 10+ years ago but I only found out a year ago when I saw the diagnosis by accident on a health care assistant's computer. I feel angry that no one told me because my life has been very difficult and I've had no help apart from anti-depressants. I'm now trying to find some DBT in the UK.
Hope this helps
- I was first diagnosed with BPD in 2001 after a suicide attempt. I slashed myself after dealing with depression for a number of years-I'll say about 6 yrs. No drugs helped-I think Ive taken every anti-depressant available and spent years talking to psychiatrists and psychologists and none of them seemed effective. After being happily married for the last two years I noticed some of my old symptoms started coming back like raging out and thinking about the past all the time-ruminating I guess would be a better term. About 6 months ago I reached a point where I just got sick of everything--reached out to God in a desperate prayer and then I found this book called "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" by Mckay, Wood and Brantley and discovered why all the drugs never helped. This book will teach you the Behavior Skills you need minus the drugs. BPD is a behavioral disorder, thats why, in from my experience they didnt work.
29-year-old recovering alcoholic w/BPD
- Just recently, I was diagnosed with BPD. When I read the symptoms of the disorder, I was floored. It fit me to a "T" - especially when I was drinking. I've suffered from alcoholism for nearly 10 years, and the drinking definitely intensified my behaviors. I've attempted suicide twice, both times after break-ups, and each time taking an overdose of sleeping medications combined with alcohol. I've also had a history of turbulent relationships, both with men and with friends, co-workers and so on. I'm about to enroll in DBT group therapy and am not sure what to expect. Either way, I'm just relieved to have an answer to my so-called "crazy" behavior. It's really helped put things in perspective for me.
- —Guest Bella
I diagnosed myself
- After years of mostly ineffective counseling, I decided that if I wanted to implement true change in myself I would go to school to be a counselor and "fix" myself so to speak. For years I had been labeled as bipolar and knew this wasn't right.
During the first class in my master's program when I learned of BPD, I knew I had found the disorder that plagued me. I felt such a sense of relief. I also felt anger because of all the therapists and doctors that I had seen over the years why could they not see what I clearly recognized? I went to my psychiatrist and shared my findings and she agreed. Since then I have carried the diagnosis of BPD and feel that I am able to obtain the right treatment for the right disorder.
- —Guest Athena
"Just another cliche artist?"
- In the 7th grade my friend noticed cuts on my wrists. I began smoking at age 12 and doing harder drugs by 14. By 10th grade my mother noticed. I would randomly do or not do things just to see if I could...tempting fate. By age 17 my self-harming behaviours and impulsivity were so great that I began to lose friends. I had sex with 10 people inside of a year, whether they mattered or not. My family noticed rashes of anger over "nothing" and I never felt good enough. After a fight with my mother I decided to see what was wrong. My school psychologist gave me all sorts of tests and emailed me a few days later. BPD was the answer to my lack of normalcy. A disorder few care to understand. I tried explaining to my mother and she said I was just making excuses and "every teen does some of that". What she didn't know was my whole history, all the tiny problems I've hidden for her own good. And so I live with the diagnosis in secret.
- —Guest sarah69
My first time with bpd
- I had been treated for depression for a few years when my behaviour started to spiral out of control, affecting my relationships and my work. My DR tried many medications but after a suicide attempt after a nasty breakup I was trialed on Effexor. With that and intensive counseling, I have been able to lead a fairly productive life with only a few hiccups. I am finally starting to get my life on track
- —Guest Kiki27
36y Mother of 2
- I was diagnosed in 2004 after my mother died of lung cancer at 58. I attempted 2 times in which I ended up in ICU for a week each time. I have been in and out of treatment but I can't find a psychologist that I feel is helping me. I talk and talk and that's it. No feedback, no "this is how I think you could handle this situation better" kind of thing. It is an everyday struggle with my own thoughts of nobody loves me, nobody cares. I love me and I am going to do my best effort everyday....for my children's sake!
- —Guest Candy
- 54 years ago by a PhD who wrote part of the definitive test for BPD, at that time. Dr. Robert Meagher
- —Guest GoldsJim
BPD a life worth living
- I am a 30yr old female diagnosed with BPD 16 months ago. I just completed a 12 month program called Life Works, a DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy)course consisting of group and individual therapy. I am happy to report that I now feel that my life is worth living. The chaos of BPD is now behind me for the most part. Prior to treatment I cut myself on a weekly, even daily basis. I drank huge amounts of alcohol to numb my pain & felt like a waste of space. Things changed for me when I ended up in hospital after attempting suicide. I got myself sober, started Effexor (225mg), medication I am still on that works well for me. Through DBT I have learnt healthier & more effective coping strategies for everyday situations & crisis. For anyone newly diagnosed with BPD I would say please research the disorder, find a psychologist specialising in DBT and know that your life is worth living, you can get better, there is effective treatment programs out there & you are worth the effort.
- —Guest lisa
23 yr old Mother of 4
- I just found out this year the I have BPD. Looking back over the years, it makes a lot of sense now. However, Last year was very stressful when I became pregnant with mono-mono twins with one having spina bifida, that I believe the stress of the pregnancy and then the months of the babies in ICU that it pushed me over board. I've started therapy bi-weekly but suffer from quick rages for the smallest things. I'm trying to learn to handle this disorder but the treatment is taking time that I don't believe my children have. They say the reason for getting BPD is often a result of an upsetting childhood, and with my rage out of control I fear the same happening to my children. I'm told getting control can take months or even years and I want a faster cure. I am told I'm brave for seeking help in the first place and being completely honest with myself and trying to get better, but I know thats not enough to give my children what they need. I just need help fast, before its too late...