Many people with borderline personality disorder struggle with impulsive behavior, including acts like reckless driving, unsafe or promiscuous sex, going on spending sprees, and others. Do you struggle with impulsive behavior? What things do you do that get you in trouble? How have you been able to tame your impulsive behavior?
yes and no
- I'm a 'high functioning' BPD. I run my own business in the most cut throat industry you could imagine. None of those people would ever think I have a problem. I'm tough and I achieve. Little do they now how much day to day life hurts. Or how much drinking with work colleagues messes me up. I wish I could walk away from situations I know cause me harm. But tonight, like many others I've drunk way too much just not to stand out, I see this behaviour as impuslive because my need in those times to be like or rather not to be disliked will alllow me to drink my own body weight even though I'm on anti depresants when i shouldn't. i'll deal with the consequences the next day. And wish I hadn't....But at the time its the best thing in the world, i feel normal x
- —Guest Nick
Spending, Yelling, Driving
- Every time I get paid, I feel the need to spend money and I wind up buying things I don't need. It's always stuff that I wind up throwing away later or hiding so I don't feel bad. And if I don't have money I wind up getting upset and my fiancee and I fight about it all the time. I always get upset and wind up speeding if we're driving and once I drove the car into a ditch. Medication makes me feel better and makes it easier for me to go through life, but it doesn't stop me from spending money or driving or getting angry. Something little can set me off and make me so upset that I just have to throw things or break things and I yell at everyone and say things I don't mean. I feel like I'm just controlled by all these actions and I don't know how to stop it.
- —Guest Shauna
Where to begin
- I will lock onto something that I want, and become obsessive about obtaining that thing. My latest one is a digital camera. I spent several hours online looking at cameras, contacted a handful of people to enquire about purchasing the one they had for sale.
It is not so much the object I want, as to fulfill that strange sensation. I feel it in my brain, and it is a combination of an itch I have to scratch, and a space that has to be filled in.
This is exactly how the urge to cut or self injure in some other way feels. It is incessant, and incredibly hard to get away from the feeling.
I am getting better at this though, and am now able to stop myself from buying and cutting. If I do buy, I am immediately filled with incredible guilt and anxiety which lasts for days...
Spending Money I Do Not Have
- I have a history of spending and making financial decision without consulting my wife. It has caused major problems in my marriage. My wife and I would make financial plans and decisions. I turn around and do whatever I wanted to do. It usually ends up causing some devastation such as bank fees or throws the budget out of whack. When asked to explain why, I do not have an answer. Either I have to borrow money or she has to. This has put a strain on our marriage. I need help.
- —Guest porgie71
- I tell people things that are inappropriate or none of their business or that might even cause me trouble - especially at work. It's as if I MUST have some attention RIGHT NOW and that's one way to get it - but it always backfires and it's causing me more and more difficulties.
- As a child my mother would tell me to think about what I say before I say it. I would say some pretty horrible things in anger. One would think that I would have learned from past mistakes as I told my mother that I hated her and wished her dead on multiple occasions and guess what? It happened. I can never take back those words and I still as an adult say things out of anger. Hateful, hurtful things. Things I don't mean at all. In conjunction with the impulsive outbursts I "HAVE" to shop. I get this urge, this itch that will not go away until I buy something. Not necessarily for myself. I just have to buy something. It's crazy. I'm always yelling and always shopping and I'm passing this behavior on to my children and want it to stop.
- —Guest Saddened
- I have a severe problem with abandonment and attachment issues. If the person is not available, I keep on calling until I reach her. This can go on for hours.
- I go on spending sprees because I try to buy something that will make me happy. Unfortunately, the happiness doesn't last, so I buy more, but that doesn't last either. All I end up with is a bunch of stuff I don't want or need and a lot of debt.
- —Guest Amber
My Spending Sprees
- My spending sprees get so out of order. As soon as I know I have some money I've got to go shopping. Whether I need anything or not, I've just got to spend that money. I have an agreed overdraft and I will keep going until it's all gone. Then when I get home I feel really guilty because I don't feel as if I deserve it and I'm not worth it. So I put it in the cupboard and hide it and just try to forget about it. It makes me feel really guilty that I think I'm worthy of such nice things!
- —Guest marion
Impulsive promiscuous sex
- I suffer from impulsive promiscuous sexual behaviour. I cannot resist and indulge without any control with strangers. I can't remember much later, and I don't bother about safety and health-related aspects. I have suffered and gotten pregnant as well. I could use advice on how to stop this cycle.
- —Guest rina
My Spending Sprees
- I love going shopping, not because I'm a woman. but because I like spending money. and getting NEW things. And it gets to the point that I blow all of my money in less than a day.It's dumb and frustrating.